Our 1st picture of Baby Stites

This is our 1st picture of Weston!  Hopefully many more to come!

Well, as many of you know, Weston Andrew Stites will be here in a few short months!!!  We are excited beyond words, but are trying to stay a little guarded...we will be able to breath easier once our sweet mama has signed on that dotted line and we are Tennessee bound. 

Some of you already know the issues we faced with our adoption agency that we began this journey with.  I know many of you don't and have been asking about how everything came about so here it is.

We started out with Bethany Christian Services in Nashville. We felt like God had called us to Bethany and things seemed to fall right in to place for us as we began.  Well, almost 2 years and 6...yes, you're reading that right, 6 case workers later, we knew in our hearts that this was NOT the place we would be getting our baby from.  We asked for prayers from friends and family about what to do and began waiting to hear from God.  Well, He got out His mega phone! 

Monday May 27, a childhood friend of mine, Amber called me out of the blue and told me that she needed me to call her ASAP.  As much as I hate to admit this, Amber and I haven't really kept in touch like I wish we would have.  When she called, well actually texted first, I had this feeling I needed to call her back.  Her parents had moved to Fayetteville, AR several years ago for her dads job.  After a while, they moved back to Jackson.  He ran into a young lady he had worked with while living in Arkansas and helped her get settled in Jackson.  This young lady's parents were coming to help her move in and so she wanted her parents to meet Amber's parents.  At dinner, Regina asked Marti what she did for a living.  Wouldn't you know she said, "I'm an adoption attorney."  You've got to be kidding me, right?  Regina asked all types of questions and finally began telling Marti about Andy and me and what she knew about our situation.  Marti said, "have them call me...I usually have a placement every few months" or something like that.  Honestly, I was too excited/overwhelmed/ anxious/etc. to really remember the finer details when Amber AND her mom were telling me everything on the phone.  Andy and I were at the houseboat with my in-laws when I called her and got the news.  I remember walking back into the boat and Mary, my mother-in-law, said, "well...?!"  I told them all about it and of course they were as excited as I was.  Andy was more like, "let's call her and just see what it's all about before getting too excited."  I'm glad God partnered me with someone like him, I am definitely the gun-ho, pedal-to-the-medal one, and he has a knack for being a little guarded when he needs to be and a little more sensible about most things.  He's a good voice of reason. 

I was dying to call Marti on Monday, but Amber had said they would be traveling back to Arkansas that day so I waited until Tuesday.  She was so friendly on the phone and just as laid back and easy going and easy to talk to...I KNEW this was who God meant for us to meet.  And to think all of this began when Ricky took a job in Arkansas, I'm sure he never thought about working with someone who had an adoption attorney for a mom, much less an attorney that would help US adopt.  Crazy how God works isn't it?!  So, Marti told me I needed to go to her website and fill out an application (which I had already done) and mail it to her.  I had actually already done that too along with a copy of our Home Study and profile book.  Needless to say I was a little anxious to get the ball rolling.  She told us that she would read over everything and get back to us.  Tuesday June 18, she called me to let me know that she had read over everything and just really felt like we were brought to her for a reason. She said that God works in mysterious ways and that she had an expectant mother due in December and that OUR PROFILE kept coming back to her with everything she read about the birth mom.  "Are you guys ready?" she asked.  I kind of hesitated and thought...then said, "ready for what?"  I never in my wildest dreams thought she was calling to tell us she had us matched.  Never.  It had only been 3 weeks since I initially called her just to ask about adopting through her.  Again, God never ceases to amaze me! 

Our birth parents are from the Marshall Islands, but are currently living in Arkansas.  Marti sent me a picture of Weston's biological sister and let me just say, SHE.IS.PRECIOUS.  It was funny when Marti called us to tell us the news, she said, "well Stefanie, your child will look a lot like Andy.  Not so much like you."  Let's face it, Andy has a tan everyone wishes they had and I am white as a ghost compared to him.  Oh well...who cares right?  At the end of the day we will be holding OUR child and nothing else matters.  We initially thought Weston would be here December 10, but now it's looking a little more like January 10.  We just got the crib put together and I decided to make his crib bumpers.  We've registered and I've shopped a little more than I needed to, but who doesn't when their having a baby right?!  Andy's parents are Bubbe(bub-e) and Papa Jack, and my mom is going to be called Bebe and who knows yet for my dad.  I've come up with a few names but they were vetoed so it's back to the drawing board for ole Sambo. 

As always, please continue praying for Andy and I as we get closer and closer to Weston's arrival.  Pray for our birth parents as they prepare to hand us the precious little boy that they've been getting to know the last 9 months.  Pray for us as we are all a ball of nerves getting ready for Weston to make his entrance into the world. 

A New Year

"If faith can move the mountains, Let the mountains move.  We come with expectations, Waiting here for You. Waiting here for You.
You're the Lord of all creation, and still you know our hearts. The Author of Salvation, You've loved us from the start.
You are everything You promised, Your faithfulness is true.  We are desperate for Your presence, all we need is You.
WAITING HERE FOR YOU, WITH OUR HANDS LIFTED HIGH IN PRAISE.  AND IT'S YOU WE ADORE, SINGING ALLELUIA!"

As we sang this at church this morning, I got this extremely overwhelming feeling.  It just hit me.  I felt my hand go up as though reaching out to grab a hold of something.  Have you ever sang a song and felt like you were about to cry?  Not tears of sadness, but tears of complete joy?!  Well, that was me this morning.  For the past year we've been waiting for THE phone call.  I've been so irritated and frustrated with God for not letting Andy and I have what we want.  I mean, it's just a child.  We could ask for wealth, more toys, nicer things...but no.  All we want is a baby.  I've replayed that song in my head thousands of times today and like a ton of bricks, it just hit me. 

This whole last year, I've been so focused on what we don't have and how mad I was at God that I couldn't even see straight.  On one hand, I've been saying, "OK, God, I know you're in control and I'm giving all my worrying over to you.  You have complete control and I trust you," and on the other hand I'm like, "OK, clearly God could care less about me and Andy...He's not even listening to us."  My prayer life is so, not even close, to where it used to be. (insert huge sign of disappointment from me)  It's very sickening.

As we were singing this song this morning, something clicked inside me.  I've not truly given everything over to the only one who has complete control.  Everything happens for a reason, we...I, just don't like to see it that way.  My God is taking care of me, even when I don't see it.  Another song that grabbed my heart with an iron fist this morning says this,:

"Troubles surround me, chaos abounding, my soul will rest in You. 
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm, my help is on the way.

Oh, My God, He will not delay.  My refuge and strength ALWAYS.  I will not fear, HIS PROMISE IS TRUE, my God will come through, ALWAYS!"

Wow, God has been here this whole time.  He has strengthened Andy and I even when I thought He had abandoned us.  His promises are true, and when has He ever NOT come through for us/me?  Why would now be any different?!  Get behind me Satan!  I've let you hold my heart for far too long.  Starting today, I'm trusting that my God IS going to come though...He always does.

We're still here

For those of you who are wondering, we are still here!  It's been a little quiet, *sad sigh*.  We did hear that our adoption case worker had changed so that was a little frustrating, but it won't really effect us as we have already completed everything.  When she called to let us know of the changes, she did confirm that families ARE looking at our book.  Which, you think that would make you happy, but it really kind of makes you sad because now we KNOW that we are being looked at and considered, but then not chosen.  So it's a little bitter sweet you could say.  But, we know that God has the perfect child planned for us and he/she just haven't found us yet! 

I will say this, GOD IS GOOD and He does move and work in ways I don't think we will ever understand.  Last summer He led a woman into my office when we were feeling like God was being a little too quiet.  She works at the pregnancy center here in town and told me that whenever a mother chooses adoption they only go through Bethany.  Well, how about that, Bethany is who we are going through!  Ok, now back to my previous comment about God being a little too quiet, it has felt that way a little here lately.  Everyone announcing they're pregnant, going to baby showers, etc. intensifies that a little I guess.  Well, same woman last summer walks into my office yesterday.  At the exact time I need to talk to her I guess.  I told her how everything was going, where we were in the process, and I could tell she was trying to say something without saying something.  She gave me the name of an adoption attorney here in town (pretty sure I had asked about this and no one knew of one here locally) and told me to call him asap and ask about what is involved when a mother comes to his office for adoption.  So, needless to say, I called him as soon as I could.  It never hurts to have all your options open and let everyone know your intentions.  I have talked to OB's, Pediatricians, school counselors, and others about our plans, and everyone has been so sweet about it and has assured us they will call us if something comes up that we would be interested in.  So, you never know how God is going to show up.

Keep praying for us for patience (which I always hate praying for).  Pray that we continue to trust in the Lord and know that He does have great plans for us. 

Checking In

So far everything is the same, no new news to share.  We had a yard-sale type fundraiser a month or so ago and did really well.  We raised about $900 to put towards our fund!  We were super excited about that.  Several people came up and donated when they heard what we were doing it for, some people told us about their adoption journey, and one lady prayed over us right there on the spot.  I have to admit, seeing how other people have gone through the same situation as we are, and hearing what they have to say is kind of funny.  Everything they say we are feeling or have felt.  Every excitement, every frustration, everything.  And what's also funny is that everyone says the same thing, "God knows HIS timing and when it's right He'll let you know."  Come on God!  Is it time yet?! We are ready!

Please keep praying for us as we continue waiting for the perfect child God has planned for US!

A New Year

As 2012 begins, Andy and I look back on the past year in complete shock.  It flew by and it seems like we went a million miles a minute.  Neither one of us have ever really been big on actually keeping our New Year's resolutions until this past year.  We made several of them, you know the usual, read the Bible more, be better everything, lose weight, get in shape, begin the adoption process, etc.  Everything started great, we read the Bible together, began walking around the neighborhood together every night, and found a great agency to begin our adoption. As January 2011 came to an end, we began to fizzle out on our resolutions.  We fizzled out on everything (sad to admit) except for one.  WE FINISHED OUR ADOPTION PROCESS!!!

We are 110% official!  Kelli, our case worker, who by the way is a blessing, called me with the news last week. Our home study has been signed, sealed, and delivered to the State of Tennessee.  Our profile is now being shown to prospective parents and we are officially on the waiting list.  Reading this post as I type it out is incredible. I find myself almost crying tears of complete joy at the mere thought of being a mommy and Andy being a daddy any day now.  I actually just took a HUGE sigh of relief that the hardest part is behind us. Kelli says that this time, referred to as "the waiting game," will be the hardest part of the process.  Up to this point, Andy and I have set the pace.  We determined when the paperwork was turned in, we determined when to get things done, etc. Not really though.  God has been in total control the whole time and it's pretty crazy how I have recently come to realize that. HE placed some amazing friends in front of us when the time was right who led us to Bethany. HE pushed us to get our paperwork done. HE made 2011 fly by.  HE makes things happen in HIS time, not ours.  I have just figured that out. I know that waiting for a phone call can seem like an eternity, but God has a wonderful plan for me and Andy and He's taken care of us up to this point, so why should we worry about the next phase?

Looking forward to 2012, I hope that this will be the year of great change in the Stites household. I pray that this family of 2 becomes a family of 3.  I pray that the resolutions we have set for ourselves are actually kept. I pray that God prepares us physically, mentally, financially, and every other kind of -ly possible!  A lot of people ask me what are we going to do if we get a call tomorrow.  I'm not going to lie, that thought is absolutely terrifying! Going from Andy and I coming and going as we please and not worrying about anything has been kind of nice.  Knowing that we are responsible for the life of another human being is a tremendous responsibility.  He will not give us more than we can handle. 

Thank you so much for continuing to pray for us. Knowing that so many people are in this with us is very comforting.  One of my resolutions is keeping this blog updated so you will know where we are and what's going on, I PROMISE I will keep this resolution! We are very grateful for family and friends that love us and support us.  We love you all!

Hurry up and wait

Andy and I are official!  As of Friday, everything has been tured in and has been approved.  Families can now look at our profile.  We are so excited because this means we are that much closer to bringing home our precious baby!  What a relief.  Your encouraging words, phone calls, texts, emails, and prayers have meant so much to us and please keep them all coming.  I think we will need them now more than ever.  We have no idea how long we will have to wait.  According to Bethany, the average wait time runs from 4 months to 4 years.  The more specific you are, the longer you could wait.  For those of you who don't know already, we are neither gender nor race spcific.  With that decision made, more families will see our profile.  We have prayed and prayed for God to prepare our hearts and minds for what is about to be the next chapter in our lives.  We are extremely excited and cannot wait to see what our future holds. 

Please continue to pray for me and Andy while we wait.  Pray we will continue to fill our days as we always have and not become consumed with wondering when someone will call.  Pray that we continue to enjoy our time alone together as we have no idea when we will become a family of 3!

Praise God we have made it this far!  We are one step closer!

We're almost there

We can finally see an end in sight!  We just had our home study and safety evaluation last week.  This house has never been cleaner.  Kelli came over and we went through the house, no where near as in depth as I thought it was going to be.  She walked into every room, made sure we had outlet covers in all open outlets, locks for our medicine/chemical cabinets, checked the fire extinguisher, and looked at our evacuation plan.  No white glove test, didn't even seem to be interested in whether or not the house was clean...but I can assure you it was spotless.  We sat on the couch and just talked.  Given all the information she has read about us already, we both just assumed she already knew any and everything she would ever need to know about us.  I have to admit, it was nothing like I thought it was going to be.  It was like friends sitting around talking.  We both really like Kelli.  She is about our age and super sweet. 

Wednesday, Andy and I went to Nashville for our individual counseling.  He volunteered me to go first so he headed downstairs to hang out with my uncle (he works in the office right next to the Bethany office).  Again, pretty much the same questions.  Describe Mom, Dad, Matthew, their parenting style, our relationships both when I was younger and now, discipline style, favorite memories, how Andy and I met, our relationship, how I think a child will affect us and our relationship with one another, just to give you an idea.  Before we knew it, we had been talking for nearly 2.5 hours.  The sessions usually only last about 1-1.5 hours.  So maybe I'm a talker!  I come by it honest what can I say?  Andy and I switched so I got to spend a little time with my uncle before he had to leave.

Kelli said we are "nearly there"...just hearing those words make us so excited!  We actually thought we would be done after that meeting.  She will write our home study which she will submit to the State, but we get to look at it and approve it first.  So, of course we have to go back for that, but we will also review our service plan 1 more time, turn in our profile books, and THAT'S IT!  Done! Finished!  We will officially be "Waiting!"

I do have to say, I feel like we have the hardest job in front of us though.  We have to write our birthmother letters.  This letter can be the one thing that draws her to us.  I know that God already knows who our birthmother is and He already has our meeting planned out, but every time I sit down to begin my letter, it's like I don't know what to say.  I mean, what do you say to a complete stranger who is about to give you the MOST incredible, selfless gift anyone could give?  Nothing I write seems to sound good enough so I delete it and stare at a blank white Microsoft Word screen.  I keep hoping for an ah-ha moment and that the words just begin flowing through me but so far nothing.  Good news is, we have about 2 weeks to write our letters(that's when Kelli should be done writing our home study) so hopefully we can get it together by then.

Please pray for Andy and I as we try and get these last few things done.  Also be praying that our baby is already on his or her way!